Sunday, February 21, 2010

The Failure of Statistical Policing

Quota's are illegal in police work.

'Performance Standards' are not.

A performance standard is a quantitative value that the administration determines. This value is supposed to tell the brass and elected officials if a police officer is doing his job to a satisfactory level by the amount of data that is compiled.

Since it is impossible to place a value on variable police work (things we have no control over) such as calls for service, vehicle crash responses, etc... The administration places emphasis on officer initiated actions such as traffic stops, business checks and citizen contacts.

Sounds good, until you look at some of the aftermath.

Joe is a veteran patrol officer. Although some political BS has marred a couple points of his career... he is an officer's officer. If Joe hears another officer dispatched to a call and Joe happens to be closer - Joe takes the call. If Joe gets a call at five minutes before his break - Joe puts his break on hold. If another officer needs anything - that officer knows he is welcomed to talk to Joe.

Here are Joe's Stats for January 2010:
Business Checks: 180%
Positive Citizen Contacts: 140%
Seatbelt Enforcement: 200%
Moving Violations: 140%
Non Moving Violations: 120%
Written Warnings: 94%

Things that were not on the statistical scoreboard: Joe was the second one to an officer needs assistance call, even though he was the furthest away. Joe covered 40% of the shifts calls for service even though he is part of an 8 man crew. Joe completed 6 cases as an evidence technician.

Joe received an official reprimand for 'Failure of Duty' because his written warnings were 6% short.

Friday, February 5, 2010

I See a War with the Nurses Brewing...

Sooooo... my partner makes a traffic stop across town from my beat. I mosey his direction but he clears after issuing a citation before I arrive. Immediately after his stop is over, he's on the air asking for a Sgt. to 'Signal 8' (meet him) in a nearby parking lot. I hear the Sgt. get there... few minutes later the Sgt. is asking the dispatcher to leave a message for our techs to pull my partner's digital video in the morning. I'm assigned to cover my partners beat while he is 'busy with paperwork for a while.'

Oooooooooo... must be gooooood! :)

While I'm covering the second zone, the GPS shows that the duo spend some time at the station... then go to the hospital... Hmmmmmm...

THEN they go back to the station for 30 mins... I'm like a teenage girl waiting on the days hot gossip!

Finally - my partner clears and I'm released from my double duty. I immediately request a signal 8 of my own.

He shows me his video:

Seems like he was at a red light, and when it turned green he began to pull out but saw a car coming that was about to blow it's fresh red. The car hit the intersection at about 30 mph and made a HARD right hand turn, directly in front of my partner.

Of course a traffic stop ensues... before he even gets a word out of his mouth the lady in the car asks, "What's YOUR problem?" in a pretty harsh tone.

Now my partner is a master at sarcasm but he actually kept a lid on it for once and just said, "Ma'am... my 'problem' is that you failed to stop for your red light and nearly caused a collision..."

"Oh you're full of shit!" says the female voice from within the car. "I hit my brakes and you were so far back that there was no WAY I was going to hit you."

"Regardless, ma'am... you are required to make a full stop before continuing if you wish to make a right turn on a red light... can I see your drivers license and registration, please?" Our community is 90% well-to-do and upper crust so our professionalism is always being touted. I must say that I was actually pleasantly surprised at my partner for keeping his cool - but then again, he IS used to being on video...

"YOU DON'T NEED MY DRIVERS LICENSE, DON'T YOU SEE THIS?" again from the drivers window. My partner tells me that the lady points at the hospital ID clipped to the front of her scrubs.

"Yes ma'am... I see the hospital ID card... your DRIVERS LICENSE is similar in that it has your picture but it also has some other information that I need... most people keep them in their wallets..." I knew he couldn't keep the sarcasm in check for long... :)

There's some mumbling from within the vehicle then, "HERE!" a hand shoots out holding the DL.

My partner takes the DL and asks the driver to remain seated until he returns... she says something that I couldn't figure out as he walks away.

The partner returns to her car with a ticket in his hand.

"What?!?!?! You've GOT to be joking!"

He explains that he isn't...

"Are you SURE you want to do this?" She asks

He explains that it's already done.

"Well it's your funeral, sweetheart," from inside the car.

WHOA! He takes special attention and just says, "EXCUSE ME?"

"Give ME a ticket motherfucker? I'll be sure to remember that the next time you or one of your guys comes into MY E.R.... I'll be the one laughing while you lay on the cot dying."

I can tell that he want's to yank her out the vent window by her nostril, "YOU DO REALIZE THAT THIS TRAFFIC STOP IS BEING RECORDED, DON'T YOU????"

"Like I give a shit! Just remember WHO's in CHARGE once you pass those hospital doors... ASSHOLE. Give ME a ticket??? I guarantee you that if you or any of yours come to MY ER... you may as well call the undertaker - that's all I'm saying."

"Ma'am... threatening a police officer who is lawfully engaged in his duties is a FELONY in this state... you can leave now or I may place you under arrest..."

"HA!" says the bitch from inside the car. "Whatever!" and she peels away from the traffic stop, causing my partner to leap back from her car.

Of course, in the days before video this bitch would be visiting her own ER within minutes of the first sideways phrase that shot out of her mouth.

But today, the kindler, gentler police force that we are handles things a bit differently.

The sarge called the brass to give them a heads up, my partner wrote a report covering the threats... THEN the two went to the hospital where the charge nurse who manages the midnight shift was briefed and allowed to view the video with the officers. She assured my guys that there would be an IMMEDIATE disciplinary measure... she actually called the nurse at home in front of them and informed her that she was on 'Executive Leave' pending a complaint investigation, but did not give her any other details.

The charge nurse also called the nurses state licensing board (again in my guys presence - pretty cool) and suggested a suspension of her license.

Now, I guess the plan is that the detectives will complete some felony charging affidavits and attempt to get a warrant ASAP in the morning. The nurse apparently has a preliminary meeting with the hospital admins set for 10 am... our dicks want to be there with a warrant and perp walk her out of the hospital in order to make an impression.

Maybe I should make an 'anonymous' call to the paper to make sure the pics hit the print for Saturdays paper... Hmmmmmmm ;)

Regardless of what exactly happens later today... SHOULD BE INTERESTING!!!

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

I Love You Captain Red Pen

Sooooo... the command staff has their monthly meeting. Samo, samo... the Sgt.'s had asked the line officers for their input, then took the input to the higher ups where each piece of input is systemically pitched into the shitcan one by one.

However, we all got a chuckle when it was learned that the Captain of the patrol staff was chastised for not being up to speed on the activity in his own division. The Chief assigned him to read five patrol reports a day. SHOULD be part of the job anyways but the patrol Capt. has been a whiny little bitch since he was passed over for the vacant chiefs job last year.

It didn't take long for the chuckles to stop in the patrol division though... the next day half a dozen reports were kicked back to the officers for "corrections."

One officer had written: "I observed the suspect vehicle traveling at 54 mph in the posted 35 mph zone." Capt. Red Pen circled each 'mph' about a dozen times then wrote: DO NOT USE ABBREVIATIONS across the top of the page.

Another officer wrote: "I responded to Main St." Again Capt. Red Pen responded by grinding his red inked weapon around the 'St.' and scrawled DO NOT USE ABBREVIATIONS for the offending officer to see.

Of course all the Road Dogs are up in arms... with all the real issues that have to be dealt with, Capt. Red Pen is really showing how little effort his job requires if he has this much free time on his hands.

I took very special effort to make sure I didn't get any red ink on the last report that I wrote. And of course I had to take some shots... "The suspect drove a red General Motors Corporation pickup bodied motor vehicle..." "Valerie Dawn Victim was born on the twelfth day of May, the year of our Lord nineteen hundred and sixty-four..."

I was really rather shocked when I discovered that the report had been approved - by the Capt. himself as his familiar handwriting was displayed in the approval box: Capt. R. Pen

YES... I circled the 'R.' and wrote NO ABBREVIATIONS across the page and tossed it into HIS mailbox... I just couldn't resist. That was three days ago - as my weekend began.

I go back to work tonight... should be interesting... :)