I would love to use Tims nickname because the second you read it, you could picture him perfectly in your mind. Unfortunately, that would also blow my cover in this blog and probably result in some disciplinary situation, some new big brother-esque policies, unwanted publicity etc...
Tim thought he was SuperCop well before he became a real police officer. Sure, he's gung-ho (to a fault), well educated (from an unknown mail order college) and has impeccable tactics (even with 94 year old ladies in wheel chairs), but the one thing that you would never accuse Tim of is having people skills.
Sure he's bearable most of the time... you just have to ignore his constant militaristic staccato form of speech, his annoying habit of standing or sitting too perfectly and his ever existing need to inform you of the ways he could kill you right now if he wanted to.
But the TRULY annoying habit of Tim that I cannot ignore is his need to constantly compare himself to everyone and publicly critique all of us 'lesser officers' for our supposed short comings. I really get annoyed when he spouts on about ethical topics... sure, I'm actually a goody-goody and consider myself ethically on a very solid foundation. But Tim likes to touch on the subjects of FOP license plates, cops getting 'breaks' on traffic stops and stuff like that claiming that HE is morally opposed to getting FOP plates because HE doesn't want to be corrupted.
Tim likes to teach all of us old guys a lesson when he can.
That's why I just HAD to run Tim's license plate through our county system. I heard a rumor that he placed a note on his datafile indicating that the car was owned by a cop... and sure enough, HIS login tag was by the information box that stated (asterics and all) : ***VEHICLE OWNED BY OFFICER ______ OF THE _______ PD***
WOW! Talk about hypocrisy!!!
I wanted to bust him in front of everyone... but knowing Tim he'd just have some 'tactical' reason for putting the note in his file. I wanted to change the information but that would leave MY name in the login box...
What to do... what to do... I pondered the situation for about a week. I just had to look at the file once again... and there I saw it, HIS login name and the note: ***KNOWN DRUG TRAFFICKER - HIDES NARCOTICS IN BODY CAVITY***
My lesson for Tim... ALWAYS LOG YOURSELF OFF THE COMPUTER BEFORE YOU GO HOME!
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You are so naughty. LOL.
ReplyDeleteTen years ago I would have laughed my head off and thought that was excellent.
ReplyDeleteNow, I just think he's a turd and you stooped for a minute to his level. I wanted you to be the good guy - even if he wasn't.
Ignore the "Tim"s of the dept. - or the world - just because they want to act holier than thou doesn't mean they are.
A man who is happy with his life and knows his own capabilities and is secure about them wouldn't have to brag and berate others like you're saying he does.
You know what Tim is good for?
For an example to you of how you want to be different from that.
Your people skills and morals will speak for themselves -- just as his won't or don't.
Just came across your blog and still laughing at this post. Let us hope Tim practices what he preaches and doesn't give anyone reason to pull him over.
ReplyDeleteDear Remain Silent,
ReplyDeleteSwear I dated a guy like him once. He was a huge liar, too. My mom figured it out first and sent him a birthday card from U Tossit Farnwide.
Ann T.
Oh man is that good! That's great! I really needed a good laugh today, and you provided it. Thanks.
ReplyDelete