Sooooo... the command staff has their monthly meeting. Samo, samo... the Sgt.'s had asked the line officers for their input, then took the input to the higher ups where each piece of input is systemically pitched into the shitcan one by one.
However, we all got a chuckle when it was learned that the Captain of the patrol staff was chastised for not being up to speed on the activity in his own division. The Chief assigned him to read five patrol reports a day. SHOULD be part of the job anyways but the patrol Capt. has been a whiny little bitch since he was passed over for the vacant chiefs job last year.
It didn't take long for the chuckles to stop in the patrol division though... the next day half a dozen reports were kicked back to the officers for "corrections."
One officer had written: "I observed the suspect vehicle traveling at 54 mph in the posted 35 mph zone." Capt. Red Pen circled each 'mph' about a dozen times then wrote: DO NOT USE ABBREVIATIONS across the top of the page.
Another officer wrote: "I responded to Main St." Again Capt. Red Pen responded by grinding his red inked weapon around the 'St.' and scrawled DO NOT USE ABBREVIATIONS for the offending officer to see.
Of course all the Road Dogs are up in arms... with all the real issues that have to be dealt with, Capt. Red Pen is really showing how little effort his job requires if he has this much free time on his hands.
I took very special effort to make sure I didn't get any red ink on the last report that I wrote. And of course I had to take some shots... "The suspect drove a red General Motors Corporation pickup bodied motor vehicle..." "Valerie Dawn Victim was born on the twelfth day of May, the year of our Lord nineteen hundred and sixty-four..."
I was really rather shocked when I discovered that the report had been approved - by the Capt. himself as his familiar handwriting was displayed in the approval box: Capt. R. Pen
YES... I circled the 'R.' and wrote NO ABBREVIATIONS across the page and tossed it into HIS mailbox... I just couldn't resist. That was three days ago - as my weekend began.
I go back to work tonight... should be interesting... :)
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I used to know someone like Capt. Red Pen. I can’t spell to save my life and one of my old college lecturers did each part of a hang-man in red pen in the margin of one of my assignments for every spelling mistake. I think I was hung about 10 times! He was lucky I didn’t shove the red pen up his arse! (notice the ‘arse’ not ‘ass’ as I’m terribly British… which is probably why I didn’t actually do anything!). I hope you didn’t get into any trouble?!
ReplyDeleteLOL. Funny.
ReplyDeleteUPDATE- I have been around Capt. Red Pen several times during the last week and have not been confronted at all.
ReplyDeleteI heard that there have been SEVERAL complaints directly to the Chief (a benefit of working in a small dept), nearly leading to a revolt.
And there have not been many returned reports in the last week... maybe the Chief pulled the reigns on Capt. Red Pen... ?!?!?!
Heh-heh:)
ReplyDeleteLiked what you did. Like that the Chief may have pulled the reins in on Capt. Red Pen!